Brigham Brougham

This has been floating around for a while, but it still makes me laugh when I see.

NOTE: Your blogger is LDS (mormon) and it is still funny.

As righteous as you are!

Doctor ... It hurts when I do this.

Zoidberg!
Originally uploaded by Marlboro!

Comments on medical record statements:

"The skin was moist and dry." - and hot and cold?

"The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week." -quite the over-achieving turtle

"The patient was in his usual state of good health until
his airplane ran out of gas and crashed." - That will change things in a hurry

"The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead." - I would chose stock broker as well.


"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room." - Don't we all hate when that happens?

"She is numb from her toes down." - Not much of a problem then.

"The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately." - Pediatricians cry at weddings too

Classified Ads

Spacious
Originally uploaded by Kayak49

1. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
2. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large
drawers.
3. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
4. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
5. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
6. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
7. Dog for sale: eats anything and is especially fond of children.
8. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
9. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
10. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
11. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
Automatically burns toast.
12. Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
13. Stock up and save. Limit: one.
14. For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.
15. Man, honest. Will take anything.
16. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll
never go anywhere again.
17. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
18. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
19. 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
20. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
21. Sign in a cosmetician's shop window: Complete skin, nail, and hair removal service.

Man V. Pickle

Kissin' The Pickle
Originally uploaded by kk+

Any father who thinks he's all important should remind himself that this country honors fathers only one day a year while pickles get a whole week.

Who's your pilot?

Japanese Air Force
Originally uploaded by Flesh Eating Beagle

A Photographer for CNN was assigned to cover southern California's wildfires last year. He wanted pictures of the heroic work the firefighters were doing as they battled the blazes.

When the photographer arrived on the scene, he realized that the smoke was so thick it would seriously impede, or even make impossible, his getting good photographs from the ground level. He requested permission from his boss to rent a plane and take photos from the air.

His request was approved and he used his cell phone to call the local county airport to charter a flight. He was told a single engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, "Let's go".

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and roared down the runway. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, "Fly Over the valley and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures of the fires on the hillsides."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I'm a photographer for CNN," he responded. "And I need to get some close-up shots."

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, "So, what you're telling me, is you're NOT my flight instructor???"