The Best Clean Humor on the Internet

The internet is awash with humor. Some jokes are funny, while others are clean. Here we have the rare, yet valuable, funny, clean humor. Send your funny, clean humor to me.



Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Would you really eat this?

Gateway Grizzlies: "The Grizzlies have added a unique concession item each of the least two seasons. In 2004 “Baseball’s Best Hotdog” hit GMC Stadium. It consists of a 1/5 pound Farmland 8 inch All Beef Black Angus Hot Dog, topped with two strips of freshly cooked bacon, 1 oz. Sautéed Onions, 1 oz. Sautéed Sauerkraut and ½ oz. Cheddar Cheese Sauce, all on a fresh baked bun. In 2005, the “Swiss Brat” was introduced. The “Swiss Brat” is made from a Landshire Bratwurst with a slice of Swiss cheese in the middle of it. 1oz. of Sautéed Sauerkraut is served on top. "

Pacman on Google Earth

See Pacman on a farm in kansas.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Life Explained

On the first day God created the dog.

God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty
years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey.

God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll
give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow.

God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and
suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed again.

On the forth day God created man.

God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you
twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my
twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "you've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy
ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

You can always tell a family historian.


Recluse Grave
Originally uploaded by eqqman.
A family historian is one who writes 1706 or 1806 on his checks, instead of 2006.