Updated August 14, 2003


Breaking News

GEORGE W. BUSH ACTION FIGURE RECALLED; WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION NOT
INCLUDED

Contrite Manufacturer Apologizes for Missing WMD


A G.I. Joe-like action figure depicting President George W. Bush as an
"Elite Force Aviator" was recalled today by its manufacturer after consumers
discovered that the $39.95 toy did not include the weapons of mass
destruction pictured on the toy's packaging.

The Bush action figure was packaged in a box showing the President in his
aviator flight suit made famous in his landing on the aircraft carrier
Abraham Lincoln, uncovering weapons of mass destruction in a
suspicious-looking Iraqi warehouse.

But once parents bought the toy and brought it home, they found that the box
contained only the action figure of the President and no weapons of mass
destruction whatsoever.

Keyboard for Pirates

A true story, as related by Shioupyn Shen:

My daughter is going to middle school and I thought
I should start talking to her about some serious stuff,
such as the meaning of life.

Her response:
"My meaning of life is to please Mommy."

So then I asked:
"What about Daddy?"

She said:
"Your meaning of life is to please mommy, too".