Internetaholics Anonymous

Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is concerned
about your Internet addiction. At Internetaholics Anonymous, we can help.

Yes, you--we're talking to you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end
online. You, bleary eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror
lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is? Have you checked
downstairs to see if your family still lives with you?

We're a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that provides
support and counselling through weekly (off-line) meetings designed to help
you cope with your problem.

We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases,
interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never "cured,"
you most certainly can recover.

We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an addict. Do
you:

1) Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal?

2) Check e-mail more than five times a day?

3) Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping?

4) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?

5) Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to hope you'll
receive a reply one day from a company you'll never do business with anyway?


6) Log on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation,
hygiene or bodily functions?

7) Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head?

8) Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you'd usually be griping
about your carpal tunnel syndrome?

9) See smoke arising from your computer or WebTV box?

10) All of the above?

If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a
problem. Please call us at Internetaholics Anonymous at:

1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORPETE'SSAKE

We're here, we're free, and we're confidential. The first step to recovery
is admission that you have a problem.

Call us today. That is, if you can power off to free up your phone line.

Woman crashes when teaching dog to drive - Yahoo! News

There was no mention of drugs or alcohol in this article. There had to be drugs or alcohol involved. There just had to be. The alternative is just too scary to contemplate. Apparently it isn't just Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton who have lapses in judgement.

Woman crashes when teaching dog to drive - Yahoo! News: "BEIJING - A woman in Hohhot, the capital of north China's Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while giving her dog a driving lesson, the official Xinhua News Agency said Monday.
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No injuries were reported although both vehicles were slightly damaged, it said.

The woman, identified only be her surname, Li, said her dog 'was fond of crouching on the steering wheel and often watched her drive,' according to Xinhua.

'She thought she would let the dog 'have a try' while she operated the accelerator and brake,' the report said. 'They did not make it far before crashing into an oncoming car.'

Xinhua did not say what kind of dog or vehicles were involved but Li paid for repairs."

Tags: humor, dog, darwin, award, candidate, car, crash