The Best Clean Humor on the Internet

The internet is awash with humor. Some jokes are funny, while others are clean. Here we have the rare, yet valuable, funny, clean humor. Send your funny, clean humor to me.



Friday, April 21, 2006

Top 10 Ways to Destroy Earth

Being a fan of Sci-Fi and the ludicrious, I find this humorous.

Top 10 Ways to Destroy Earth: "Top 10 Ways to Destroy Earth
A host of methods for ending the planet as we know it,"

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Wok Food

What more could I say?

BBC - h2g2 - Student Food: "Wok Food

Not for those with sensitive stomachs.

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Take everything in the fridge that has started to smell and throw into the wok.
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Add large quantities of Worcestershire sauce, stir and cook at a very high temperature until smouldering.
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Scrape onto a plate and serve with a cup of very strong coffee to take away the taste."

Sugar Puff Sandwiches

I am going to have to try this at home. Yum!

BBC - h2g2 - Student Food: "Sugar Puff Sandwiches

They smell a bit funny but taste nice enough. It certainly tastes nicer than it sounds.

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Take a box of Sugar Puffs and a loaf of bread. Holding a slice of bread in one hand, put some Sugar Puffs onto the centre of the bread making a little mound.
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Now clench your fist tightly, making the bread into a little doughy, and slightly sweaty, ball which binds together.
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Repeat and serve with a clove of parsley. Works best if you remove the crust first."

A good sermon


Pisa
Originally uploaded by Olly M Pus.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Teen Poverty in America

We just spent several hours observing teenagers hanging out at our local mall. We came to the conclusion many teenagers in America today are living in poverty. Most young men We observed didn't even own a belt; there was not one among the whole group.

But that wasn't the sad part. Many were wearing their daddy's jeans. Some jeans were so big and baggy they hung low on their hips, exposing their underwear. I know some must have been ashamed their daddy was short, because his jeans hardly went below their knees. They weren't even their daddies' good jeans, for most had holes ripped in the knees and a dirty look to them.

It grieved us, in a modern, affluent society like America, there are those who can't afford a decent pair of jeans I was thinking about asking my church to start a jeans drive for "poor kids at the mall." Then on Christmas Eve, we could go Christmas caroling and distribute jeans to these poor teenagers.

But here is the saddest part...it was the girls they were hanging out with that disturbed us most. Never, in all of our lives, have we seen such poverty-stricken girls. These girls had the opposite problem of the guys. They all had to wear their little sister's clothes. Their jeans were about 5 sizes too small! I don't know how they could get them on, let alone button them up. Their jeans barely went over their hipbones. Most also had on their little sister's top; it hardly covered their midsections. Oh, they were trying to hold their heads up with pride, but it was a sad sight to see these almost grown women wearing children's clothes.

However, it was their underwear that bothered us most. They, like the boys, because of the improper fitting of their clothes, they had their underwear exposed. We had never seen anything like it. It looked like their underwear was only held together by a single piece of string.

We know it saddens your heart to receive this report on condition of our American teenagers. While we go to bed every night with a closets full of clothes nearby, there are millions of "mall girls" who barely have enough material to keep it together. We think their "poorness" is why these 2 groups gather at the mall; boys with their short daddies! ' ripped jeans, and girls wearing their younger sisters' clothes. The mall is one place where they can find acceptance. So, next time you are at the mall, doing your shopping , and you pass by some of these poor teenagers, would you say a prayer for them?

And one more thing . Will you pray the guys' pants won't fall down?

Monday, April 17, 2006

How many car salesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ques: "How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?"

Answer: "I'm going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."