Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device

Originally uploaded by Mongibeddu.

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade named: BOOK

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc. Here's how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKs with more information simply use more pages.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.

Unlike other display devices, BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, and it can even be dropped on the floor or stepped on without damage. However, it can become unusable if immersed in water for a significant period of time. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarkers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. Also, BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

An Un-Robbery

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Originally uploaded by Thermodynamix.

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash the got from the drawer...$15.

(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

Lot and his flea

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

Dilbert Humor Quotient

I have this nagging feeling that how funny one perceives Dilbert to be is directly related in some fashion to how bad things are at your current job and previous jobs. There must be some mathematical expression to express this:

H = h * sum( j[i])

H = How funny Dilbert is perceived to be
h = universal personal humor constant
j = how pointed haired your boss was at job[i]

H is self explanatory

h is a constant related to personal taste regarding humor. Someone who can't read English might have an h approaching 0 while one of your paid minions might have an h approaching infinity. The former thinking your comic is completely unfunny, the latter telling you your comic is the funniest thing since some guy invented that funniest thing saying.

j = is a measure of how well Dilbert relates to the work environment. If one works for a place where the employees are appreciated and decisions are made in a win-win paradigm, then j would be quite low. It increases as Dilbert becomes more true to life.

This theory of the Dilbert Humor Quotient came to me over the last couple of years. 2 years ago, Dilbert wasn't that funny to me. I just couldn't relate and it seemed cynical. Then we got new management and Dilbert has gotten funnier over the last 2 years. Even the older Dilberts got funnier somehow. The attitude changed from "Nobody really does that" to "Hey, that reminds me of when Dilbert did ... ". Also, the number and poignancy of the Dilberts tacked to bulletin boards has gone up. Maybe the Dilbert Humor Quotient needs to be amended to included the number of Dilberts hung for public display. That exercise will be left up to the reader.