Doctor ... It hurts when I do this.

Zoidberg!
Originally uploaded by Marlboro!

Comments on medical record statements:

"The skin was moist and dry." - and hot and cold?

"The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week." -quite the over-achieving turtle

"The patient was in his usual state of good health until
his airplane ran out of gas and crashed." - That will change things in a hurry

"The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead." - I would chose stock broker as well.


"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room." - Don't we all hate when that happens?

"She is numb from her toes down." - Not much of a problem then.

"The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately." - Pediatricians cry at weddings too