Things I've Learned Since Hurricanes Charley and Francis

* Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.

* No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work
without
electricity.

* Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in
their
hands.

* Cats are even more irritating without power.

* He who has the biggest generator wins.

* Women can actually survive without doing their hair--you just wish
they
weren't around you.

* A new method of non-lethal torture - showers without hot water.

* There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.

* TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful. One day
at a
time.

* A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz beers to a drinkable
temperature in
11 minutes, and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours.

* There are a lot of trees around here with shallow root systems.

* Flood plan drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously
wrong.

* Contrary to most Florida natives' beliefs, speed limits on roads
with
non-working traffic lights, does not increase.

* Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, does not make a good
lawn
ornament.
* Just because you're over 21 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as
you
want. At least that's what the cops told me during a curfew stop.

* Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14
generators.
* Dogs don't like to poop in water over their knees.

* People will get into a line that has already formed without having
any
idea what the line is for.

* When required, a Chrysler 300M will float--doesn't steer well, but
floats
just the same.

* Some things DO keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.

* Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing until
the
phone stops working.

* Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the
battery
remains charged.

* 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you,
and
they are quick to point that out as soon as your power fails!

* Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.

* If I had a store that sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and
generators...I'd
be rich.

* The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane.

* Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing
hole.

* Tree service companies are under appreciated and over paid.

* I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's
blackout.

* MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30%
higher
electric bill ?????

* Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's
worthless.

* I can walk a lot farther than I thought.