YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN FLORIDA IN JULY WHEN. . . .

-The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
-The trees are whistling for the dogs.
-The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
-Hot water now comes out of both taps.
-You can make sun tea instantly.
-You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
-The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
-You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
-You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
-You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
-Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and
end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
-The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out
and add butter, salt and pepper.
-Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
laying boiled eggs.
-The cows are giving evaporated milk