13 Rules for Naming Childern
In order to hinder, frustrate and annoy any future genealogical researcher, please observe the following 13 rules when naming your children. These rules have been proven by generations of parents and are known to be effective.
(1). Thou shalt name your male children: James, John, Joseph, Josiah, Abel,
Richard, Thomas, William.
(2) Thou shalt name your female children: Elizabeth, Mary, Martha, Maria,
Sarah, Ida, Virginia, May.
(3) Thou shalt leave NO trace of your female children.
(4) Thou shalt, after naming your children from the above lists, call them
by strange nicknames such as: Ike, Eli, Polly, Dolly, Sukey.---making them
difficult to trace.
(5) Thou shalt NOT use any middle names on any legal documents or census
reports, and only where necessary, you may use only initials on legal documents.
(6) Thou shalt learn to sign all documents illegibly so that your surname
can be spelled, or misspelled, in various ways: Hicks, Hicks, Hix, Hixe, Hucks,
Kicks or Robinson, Robertson, Robison, Roberson, Robuson, Robson, Dobson.
(7) Thou shalt, after no more then 3 generations, make sure that all family
records are lost, misplaced, burned in a court house fire, or buried so that
NO future trace of them can be found.
(8) Thou shalt propagate misleading legends, rumors, and vague innuendo
regarding your place origination:
(A) you may have come from : England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales....or Iran.
(B) you may have American Indian ancestry of the______tribe......
(C) You may have descended from one of three brothers that came over
from______
(9) Thou shalt leave NO cemetery records, or headstones with legible names.
(10) Thou shalt leave NO family Bible with records of birth, marriages, or
deaths.
(11) Thou shalt ALWAYS flip thy name around. If born James Albert, thou
must make all the rest of thy records in the names of Albert, AJ, JA, AL, Bert,
Bart, or Alfred.
(12) Thou must also flip thy parent's names when making reference to them,
although "Unknown" or a blank line is an acceptable alternative.
(13) Thou shalt name at least 5 generations of males and dozens of their
cousins with indentical names in order to totally confuse researchers.
(1). Thou shalt name your male children: James, John, Joseph, Josiah, Abel,
Richard, Thomas, William.
(2) Thou shalt name your female children: Elizabeth, Mary, Martha, Maria,
Sarah, Ida, Virginia, May.
(3) Thou shalt leave NO trace of your female children.
(4) Thou shalt, after naming your children from the above lists, call them
by strange nicknames such as: Ike, Eli, Polly, Dolly, Sukey.---making them
difficult to trace.
(5) Thou shalt NOT use any middle names on any legal documents or census
reports, and only where necessary, you may use only initials on legal documents.
(6) Thou shalt learn to sign all documents illegibly so that your surname
can be spelled, or misspelled, in various ways: Hicks, Hicks, Hix, Hixe, Hucks,
Kicks or Robinson, Robertson, Robison, Roberson, Robuson, Robson, Dobson.
(7) Thou shalt, after no more then 3 generations, make sure that all family
records are lost, misplaced, burned in a court house fire, or buried so that
NO future trace of them can be found.
(8) Thou shalt propagate misleading legends, rumors, and vague innuendo
regarding your place origination:
(A) you may have come from : England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales....or Iran.
(B) you may have American Indian ancestry of the______tribe......
(C) You may have descended from one of three brothers that came over
from______
(9) Thou shalt leave NO cemetery records, or headstones with legible names.
(10) Thou shalt leave NO family Bible with records of birth, marriages, or
deaths.
(11) Thou shalt ALWAYS flip thy name around. If born James Albert, thou
must make all the rest of thy records in the names of Albert, AJ, JA, AL, Bert,
Bart, or Alfred.
(12) Thou must also flip thy parent's names when making reference to them,
although "Unknown" or a blank line is an acceptable alternative.
(13) Thou shalt name at least 5 generations of males and dozens of their
cousins with indentical names in order to totally confuse researchers.
posted by Matthew O. Smith | 6:41 PM
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