Polish Divorce
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although
his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day
he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him - "very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: "Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."
his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day
he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him - "very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: "Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."
posted by Matthew O. Smith | 1:47 PM
3 Comments:
There is clean, and then there is tacky. Making fun of a race of people is tacky.
I read it through a couple of times just to make sure it wasn't offensive before posting it. The reason I posted it was it made me laugh and the humor is not based on some sterotype of Polish people, but rather on miscommunication and the fact that words in English can have multiple meanings. Having lived in a foreign country and learned a foreign langauge, Spanish, I am all too familiar with this situation.
There is a similar type joke about English speakers learning Spanish. A young single lady who is not proficient in Spanish is asked to speak in front of a Spanish-speaking crowd. She starts off by trying to say, "I am embarassed and it is [insert a married man's name]'s fault". However, when trying to translate embarassed, the young lady used the obvious "embarasado" which, unfortunately, means "pregnant" in Spanish. Always gets a good laugh from my bi-lingual friends.
In polish there is no word 'ja'- it's from german:> Polish yes is TAK!!! :)
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