Proffer to you the next Opportunity

I got this in the mail today. I'll let it speak for itself:

Your specific position has been considered to the obligatory committees, and upon conscientious consideration, we are able to proffer to you the next opportunity.

Based upon conscientious consideration you qualify to get a generous rield on your primary property investment.

By completing the next attached form in a timely manner we will be able to complete our estimation, and we feel firm you will get not only a reduced rate of interest, but also a cash return that will realize all your holiday needs and more!

I think I'll wait for the next opportunity to be proferred.