laws of the natural universe

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in will start to move faster than
the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't
want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

Law of Bio Mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.

Theater Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until
the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of a pokerfaced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.